


Finding a Way

by Ravensdawn



Category: The Mentalist
Genre: Established Relationship, M/M, PWP, Season 3, Sequel to After That Night, Tickling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-06
Updated: 2016-12-06
Packaged: 2018-09-06 23:03:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,363
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8772898
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ravensdawn/pseuds/Ravensdawn
Summary: Continuation from After That Night, set in season 3, exploring Cho and Jane's relationship. I suck at titles, this is mostly Jane/Cho loosely held together by canon events.





	

Cho burst through the door startling Jane.  Jane had fallen asleep on his couch in the bullpen.  It was the middle of the night.   Only the security lights were on.  Suddenly, Jane was being kissed within an inch of his life.  It sounded like Jane moaning in the back of his throat but really he was trying to ask questions.

“Talk later,” Cho said, and resumed kissing Jane, “Fuck now,” Cho insisted.  Jane raised his eyebrows and pressed his lips together.  He could get on board with that.  Cho was busily undressing Jane.  He already had Jane’s pants undone, his vest unbuttoned and his shirt pulled up.  Jane was impressed, barely awake, but impressed. Cho pulled off this ninja move, yanking down Jane’s pants while simultaneously turning him face down on the couch.

“Oomph,” Jane commented.  Cho stood to take off his own pants.  He straddled Jane’s thighs.  Jane wasn’t entirely sure what was going on but he liked it.  He liked giving Cho whatever he wanted.  The cold of unwarmed lube startled Jane.  He shivered. _Cho came prepared_. Cho leaned down to kiss the nape of Jane’s neck.  “Sorry,” he whispered.

“S’okay” Jane answered.  

Cho rubbed himself in the lube, lined himself up and entered Jane, he couldn’t wait for niceties.  Cho grunted and Jane hissed at the sting. “Still okay?” Cho whispered, and Jane nodded his head.  “Can I move?” Jane nodded his head again.  He carefully and slowly lowered himself.

Ever since he’d heard that Jane had a run in with Red John, this is what Cho wanted. He wanted to feel Jane beneath him, solid and alive.  He niggled his hands between Jane’s body and the couch, past Jane’s shirt, splaying his palms to feel as much of Jane’s skin as possible. He pulled Jane’s body close, kissed his ear, and bottomed out causing both men to groan loudly.  They stayed that way for several more pumps of Cho’s hips, to the sounds of alternating moans and heavy breathing.  _What would I have done?_

Cho balanced himself on his knees, pulled one of Jane’s arms to his back, then the other.  He pinned them to the small of Jane’s back.  Jane’s shoulders flushed.  Cho’s eyes dilated.  He moved in long slow strokes.  He watched the side Jane’s face go from eyes squeezed shut, to relaxed, slack jawed.  He knew by now that Jane was closed to the world of thought, had given himself over to it.  _I did that_. He loved being a source of peace for Jane. He loved making love to Jane.  _I love him._ The sensations that unbidden thought evoked were deep and all-encompassing.  He lost rhythm, he let go of Jane’s arms, they fell to Jane’s sides.  He lay down again, rested his forehead on Jane’s back.  Jane felt a dampness he thought were tears.

“Cho, are you okay? Are you crying?” Jane said with concern.  He wiggled round so he could see Cho better.

“I just…” Cho tried to explain.  Jane wiggled around some more, causing Cho to pull out.  He rolled over and then rolled them both over.  
“Hey,” Jane said as he climbed on top of Cho, rubbed their bodies together.  “Talk to me”

“A thought.  Hit me hard.  But I’m ok now,” he kissed Jane.

“A thought?” Jane asked but Cho just kissed him some more.

“Fuck now.  Talk later. Remember?” Cho said.  Jane went with it.  Cho looked alright. He kicked his pants off the rest of the way.  He closed his eyes as he lowered himself down onto Cho, rocking a little as he went.  He put his hands on the sides of Cho’s face and leaned down and kissed him.

“You can tell me anything, you know that,” Jane said as he gently rode Cho. 

Cho nodded his head and held onto Jane’s hips. 

“You could have been killed. Again,” Cho mumbled so quietly Jane didn’t hear.

“Huh?”

“My thought…you could have been killed or captured,” Cho said more clearly.

“I know.  But I’m here.  With you. Making love,” Jane said with feeling. 

“Making love,” Cho echoed.

They were quiet then, keeping any further thoughts private.  Jane knew Cho liked to be in control, so he sat up and let him set the pace, which was getting faster.  Jane liked this position.  He could watch Cho’s face, read every nuance. He found a fascination with Cho’s muscles, some like plates of armor, others that moved under the skin, a powerhouse contained.  He felt so safe in Cho’s strong hands.  To keep himself upright, his hands were on Cho’s chest and he idly played with the nipples under them. He realized he didn’t want to escape this, he wanted to stay here.  This wasn’t about shutting down his brain.  His thoughts weren’t something to be avoided. _He was worried about me. He came back here for me. He cares about me. I matter to him.  He matters to me. And he is beautiful, a good man._ These were all happy thoughts.   Cho’s eyes opened as if he knew he would see Jane’s loving smile.  He smiled back _.  I put a smile on Kimball’s face._ Another happy thought.

Cho gripped Jane’s hips tighter. Jane started stroking himself.  He wanted to finish together.  He’d  learned by now that Cho liked their faces together at least trying to kiss when he came, it was something Jane always liked, too.  Cho took one hand from Jane’s hip to hold the back of his neck, and they kissed.  They came quietly together, swallowing each other’s moan.  Jane dropped down to lay chest to chest with Cho.

It wasn’t long until the two of them were freezing.  Jane eased himself off. They didn’t have much choice.  The two of them ran naked from the waist down, shirts open, pants held in front of them through the CBI offices to the bathrooms.  Hoping against hope no one was watching the cameras.  Jane made a mental note to call in a favor with the security guard to get his hands on the tapes.  They got to the restrooms and turned on the lights, blinding themselves in the process.  They both cried in pain and laughed.  Jane couldn’t resist pulling Cho in for another hug.

“The cameras,” Cho said.

“Yeah, I’ll fix that first thing,” Jane answered to which Cho raised his eyebrows. “What?  The guard owes me one.”

Cho went into the stall to clean up and get dressed, leaving Jane to it at the sinks.

“Not much night left. Come home with me anyway?” Cho asked over the stall.

“Sure, you owe me some sleep,” Jane said.

 

Jane was preoccupied after that with finding Kristina.  She may drive him nuts and she may deserve something for her arrogance,  but Jane would never leave her to Red John’s cruelty.  He hoped she wasn’t already dead.  He had to find her, he felt responsible, like he did for anyone where Red John was concerned. If these people hadn’t met him, Red John would never have taken an interest.  _Shit, what if Red John figures out me and Cho. No more at the office._

He’d had a rough couple of weeks.  Kristina was taken from her own home.  That crazy movie kid was going to kill him, he was going to stab him and eviscerate him to save his mom, Jane saw it in his eyes. Red John saved his life and gave him the poem as a clue.  What was Red John up to, was he merely playing games with him or did he have some master plan.  To what end?  If his goal was to put him back on the psych ward, he might just get his wish. 

The new guy, Bertram?  Jane immediately took a disliking to him, so he vented some of his frustrations on his assistant.  Jane smiled to himself over the dead mouse trick, a small victory in a mountain of losses.  While he was distracted, Teresa successfully conned him into working on the case he specifically didn’t want to work on.  He knew she was trying to help him, jog him out of his miserable thoughts and prevent him from being on Bertram’s bad side while she was at it.   Still, pretty low blow.  He had to work the case.  Yes, he was tired, and yes, he thought finding Kristina was more important, but mostly he didn’t like Bertram expecting him to perform.  Like a trained monkey, for the rich and powerful no less.  

Cho had been keeping his distance.  Jane believed this was by design – Cho would know Jane wanted time alone to process everything.  It also would cause problems at the CBI if anyone knew about their relationship, and Cho was a careful man.  _A wonderful, intelligent, intriguing, unreadable, surprising, careful man._   But he had had tears in his eyes the last night they were together, and he never quite figured out why. 

So when Danny Ruskin called him out of the blue, he felt a nail being hammered into his coffin.  The very last thing he needed was to get wrapped up in one of Danny’s messes.  He wasn’t even surprised when the cops showed up at the crime scene.  Arrested. For murder.  Why not?  Maybe if he went to jail, he’d get some peace and quiet. Unfortunately , if there was anyone he felt he owed anything to, it was Danny Ruskin.  He was the collateral damage when he and Angela left the carny life.  After Jane, Danny was the one who lost the most when Angela died.  Jane took a deep breath and helped Danny get out of the hole he’d dug for himself.

He knocked on Cho’s door that night after Danny had escaped and Mrs. Landon was in custody.  Cho greeted him with a hug. Jane backed Cho against the wall and kissed him intensely, holding his chin to keep him there.  “I need you,” he said as he pulled away.  “Do you have time tonight?”

Cho looked Jane over, shook his head in exasperation, he couldn’t believe Jane still had to ask.  He knew what Jane wanted.  He grabbed Jane’s face and kissed him hard. He pushed Jane and Jane’s stumbled back and his face flushed, “That’s what I’m talking about.” So Cho pushed him again, but held onto his shirt collar, so he could pull him back and attack his mouth with his.   _How is he always up for this, why does he put up with me?_ This time Jane pushed Cho, who barely budged. Jane did it again, pushing against Cho’s chest, harder and harder.  Cho was unmovable.   He let Jane push against him, let him vent.

When it seemed to Cho that Jane had had enough of that, he grabbed Jane’s wrist, bent it to the small of Jane’s back, while still facing Jane, and roughly pulled their bodies together, firmly keeping Jane against him.  Jane tried to get at Cho’s shirt buttons but Cho grabbed that hand, put that one behind Jane’s back as well and held both his wrists with one hand.  Now Cho started undressing Jane.  Jane wasn’t going to make it easy.  He wanted a fight.  He struggled against Cho’s grip of his hands while Cho got a few more buttons undone.

Cho started walking them backwards into his home.  He kissed Jane just to show he could, all while restraining Jane.  Jane retaliated by tripping Cho and they went down to the carpeted living room floor, forcing Cho to let go of Jane’s hands to catch himself.  Cho landed on top of Jane,  both with loud grunts.  Jane immediately turned over to try to crawl away, but Cho grabbed him by the collar and belt, pulled him back and flipped him over.  He straddled his hips, kept unbuttoning Jane’s million buttons. Jane bucked his hips, tried to unbuckle Cho’s belt.  Cho took his hand away from his belt, pinned it to the floor above Jane’s head, finished his buttons with one hand.  Jane’s shirt and vest fell to his sides, exposing Jane’s chest.  Cho leaned down and sucked hard on Jane’s nipple while Jane kept bucking. They were breathing hard.  Jane managed to get Cho’s belt and clasp undone and was working on his zipper.  This time, Cho helped him.  Once they got his pants open, Cho pressed Jane’s hand to his groin, shoving it under his boxers. Jane reflexively held on.  Cho moaned.

Cho covered Jane’s mouth with his and shoved his tongue in Jane’s mouth.  Jane sucked on it.  Then Jane pulled his hand free, swung his leg up and over Cho, effectively flipping them over.  Cho lost his grip on his other hand and Jane took the advantage to almost get Cho’s shirt off.  Not that anyone was really fighting here, but Jane was pleased with himself for that move.  Maybe watching these guys catch runners was rubbing off on him.  Now he was straddling Cho, catching his breath.  He shimmied backwards down Cho’s legs, the buckle was jabbing into his thigh.  Jane grasped Cho’s pants and boxers by the waist and took them with him as he crawled toward Cho’s feet.  Cho was hard and red and even though they’d done so much, Jane hadn’t ever really looked at him before.  It was everything Cho was, solid, straight, compact, handsome if you could ever call a cock handsome.  Jane was going for it with his mouth but Cho, still playing the game wiggled out of reach and stood up.

Cho dragged Jane to his feet and divested him of his pants, dropped the shirt from Jane’s shoulders, letting the vest fall with it.  They stood there butt naked in their socks.  Cho took one look at them and giggled.  He couldn’t help it.  Jane looked at him incredulously.  Then giggled, too.  They had a giggle fit, it got funnier the longer they thought about standing there turned on in their stocking feet in Cho’s living room. Not for the first time, Jane couldn’t believe his fortune in meeting this man, a bundle of unpredictability.  Cho proceeded to take off his own socks and Jane followed suit.  Cho reached out to hold Jane’s face, rubbed his thumb along Jane’s jawline and kissed him.  He poured feelings into the kiss, all humor gone.  Jane felt it down to his toes.

Then Cho took him by the waist and lifted him into the air. Jane was still spinning from the epic kiss and in no way squealed in surprise. His legs and arms wrapped around Cho, who set to walking down the hall to his bedroom.  He threw/dropped Jane on the bed and he bounced.  He took a moment to get out a condom and lube.  He looked Jane in the eye, tore open the condom and put it on himself.  Jane’s eyebrows went up and his skin flushed anew. Cho tackled Jane. Jane tried to roll away, but he was far too slow.  Cho arranged Jane head down, ass up.  Jane turned to look what he was doing and that was putting lube all over himself.  He rubbed some on Jane, too.  Jane thought he was going to get to it, but he tickled him instead. Cho had grabbed his sides and started tickling him.

Jane was shocked, he laughed, screamed and fell to his belly.  Cho didn’t let up, giant smile on his face, too.  He risked Jane’s flailing to kiss a trail down Jane’s spine, never letting up with the tickling.   Jane managed to turn himself over, yelling for Cho to stop.  Cho wouldn’t, so Jane fought back, tickling Cho.  Cho wasn’t ticklish. _Damn him_. “Stooooop, stop,” Jane cried between bouts of laughter.  Cho, merrily grinning, was running his fingers up and down his sides. Jane was laughing like he hadn’t since he was a kid.  The gleam in his eyes said it all.  Cho would pay good money to keep that innocent, happy laughter on Jane’s face.

Just when he thought he couldn’t take anymore, Cho lined himself up and fucked into Jane, one strong stroke. Jane had never felt anything like it.  He stopped laughing.  His eyes rolled to the back of his head. He was breathing in gasps as it was.  Cho pulled out and did it again, holding Jane’s hips to ram him against his body. Jane cried out as Cho ground.  Cho lost the smile on his face, it had become pleasure and concentration.  He was kneeling still between Jane’s legs, using his strong arms to pull Jane’s body to him.  Jane had given up any fight. Cho had planned to finish like that, but Jane suddenly looked vulnerable, exposed, so he stretched himself over Jane, covering him, holding his hands close to their sides.  Jane wanted Cho’s mouth on his, but he was effectively immobilized.  “Kiss me, Cho” he whispered.  “Kiss me when you cum.”

Cho did as he was asked.  He kissed Jane and started driving it home. “Talk to me some more, Jane.”  Cho dropped his head so Jane could whisper in his ear.

“You’re the best thing in my life,” Jane said, “I love doing this with you.” Cho started thrusting faster. “No one has ever made me feel the things you make me feel.” Jane kissed him and kept talking. “I love this.” Jane was moving in tandem with Cho.  He could feel Cho getting close. “Love this, love this, love this.”

Cho had meant dirty talk, but Jane saying “Love” in his ear over and over was better.  Cho was tingling all over.  Jane was chanting now, getting faster along with Cho, “Love this Cho, love this Cho, love this Cho” and Cho came with a keening whine.  Jane freed his hands, held Cho’s face and said, “Love you, Kimball,” and pulled their faces together. “Love you” he said again and came.  Cho joined their mouths. His ears were hot, his nerves still zinging and his brain was melting because of what Jane had said.

It took a while for Cho to gather himself, he wanted the feelings to last as long as he could keep them. Jane was quiet, holding Cho, a single tear running from the corner of his eye.  He had been looking for the right time to tell Cho that he loved him and he guessed he just found it.  He had no idea how Cho would take it.  He didn’t know that Cho had been doing the same thing. 

“I lied to you, Jane,” Cho said.

“What?”

“The last time we were together,” Cho continued.

Jane waited him out.

“I wasn’t afraid of you dying,” Cho said.  “I realized I loved you.”

Cho would remember the smile on Jane’s face for the rest of his life.

 

 

Now Jane was trying so hard not to seem like they were in a relationship at work, people noticed.   Jane honestly didn’t know what to do.  He didn’t know how to act.  Jane wanted to tell the world, that’s who he was.  Cho was much better at this. He was naturally private with feelings, then years of growing up in a gang had honed his skills.  Even so, Cho smiled easier, was more talkative, seemed more at ease.  Rigsby kept looking at Cho out of the corner of his eye and Lisbon watched Jane whenever she thought she could get away with it.

The cases never let up and never got easier.  Another battle of wits with Bret Stiles and meeting with him later and the clue to finding Kristina.  Outside of killing someone, this was the creepiest, most sadistic thing Red John had ever done.  Jane left Kristina in the interview room and went to find some solace in his attic room.  Cho tried to decipher how Jane was handling it.  For the whole team, finding Kristina alive was little consolation for the condition she was in.  Everyone was in shock.  Cho went to the attic.  Instead of sneaking off, he straight out told Lisbon he’d check on Jane, wasn’t like he’d never done that before. 

“See if you can get him to be down here with us.  Let’s try to keep him from isolating himself,” Lisbon advised him and Cho agreed.

Cho knocked and said, “Jane, let me in,” quietly to the door. Jane just said, “it’s open.”  Cho slid the door open and carefully approached Jane.  Jane stood up, poured himself over Cho and clung on.  He was rambling. “What am I gonna do, Cho, what can I do?  I can’t fix it, I can’t fix Kristina, she’s like that and it’s my fault, my fault, Red John is going to keep hurting anyone close to me, you have to go, have to go, you have to get away from me, I have to go, I have to leave, I can’t stay here, I should be on my own, I can’t do this.  I’m hurting people,” he trailed off. 

“Shhhh, Jane, shh,” Cho soothed.  “It’s okay, okay,” He was running his hands through Jane’s curls. “It’s not your fault,” Cho went on, “not your fault, he repeated.  They were quiet for a moment.  “Red John is the bad guy here, not you.”

“I know that, but Red John has it out for me.  That means anyone I show any interest in gets hurt. Logically means that anyone who knows me and hurt by Red John, it’s my fault, I’m responsible.” He let go of Cho and stood back.

“Stop, Jane.  Just stop. That’s not how it works.”

“No, you stop, Cho.  That’s exactly how it works,” Jane raised his voice.  “Why won’t anyone ever listen to me?  I know how he thinks and what he’s going to do, I’ve been right and no one wants to hear it. Red John is screwing with me.  He’s playing a game.  Kristina was a play and he is winning.”  Jane took a breath.  “If he finds out about you…who am I kidding, he probably already knows.  I’d never..” Jane’s voice broke.  “I’d never forgive myself if something happened to you,” he choked out.  He let the tears he was holding back flow.

“Nothing’s going to happen to me,” Cho said with confidence.

“You sound like Lisbon, do they teach you that line in cop school, because you don’t know, you don’t” Jane hiccupped his way through that statement. “What if something happened to Lisbon or Rigsby or Van Pelt?  I can’t stay here, I can’t keep putting you all in danger.”

Cho tried to hug Jane again, but he wouldn’t let him. “Patrick, please,” he said quietly. “We’re cops, we’re always in danger.  We all know the threat from Red John.  Besides, it’s too late, we’re already on his radar, you could make it worse by leaving.” Cho knew it was a cheap shot.  Jane’s talk about leaving was causing him personal panic.  He didn’t handle panic well. 

“Thanks, Cho, that makes me feel better,” Jane said sarcastically.

“Jane, Kristina went on TV and spoke to Red John like she knew him. That had nothing to do with you. You aren’t responsible for her actions.   He would have gone after her whether she knew you or not.”

When Cho said something like that, it was so easy to believe, so easy to want to believe.  “You warned her.  You did everything you could.”

“Wasn’t enough.”

Cho desperately wanted to wrap Jane up, soothe his mind, make him feel better, anything.  That wasn’t going to happen today.  He thought of another tactic.

“Red John is a sick individual.  He is playing a game with you. He’s trying to distract you.   But you do not control his behavior. Nothing you’ve ever done merits his responses. You have never been at fault for any of the things Red John has done.”

At that, Jane looked up, assessing Cho, wondering if he was saying what Jane thought he was saying.

Cho answered his questioning look by saying, “Yeah, I mean them, too.  You aren’t responsible for your family’s deaths.  You didn’t kill them.  You had no idea Red John would hear what you said on TV or even care about what some two-bit psychic had to say about him.  You aren’t to blame for his actions, only he is.  There was no way you could have predicted what he did.”  Jane was quiet and listening. When he didn’t say anything, Cho risked going on.  “Killing your family was Red John’s first mistake.  You are going to catch him and you are going to make him pay.  Red John made the wrong enemy, because if anyone can get him, it’s you.”

Again, Jane wanted to believe Cho’s words.  So sincerely spoken, they were healing, filling in the spaces, calming long-held anxieties.  Jane needed time to process what he’d just been told. He gathered himself and wiped his eyes.  “I can’t do this, can’t do this now, _we_ can’t do this now. We’ve already been here too long, someone’s going to know”

“I told Lisbon I’d check on you.  She knows I’m here. I’ve checked on you before. It’s fine.”

“You thought of everything.”

“Are you going to leave?” Cho asked Jane.  Of all the things Cho had said, this one jarred Jane out of his morose thoughts.  He wasn’t used to thinking of anyone beside himself, not really, not like that. Suddenly their conversation took on new meaning.  He didn’t think of Cho as having insecurities, he’s been his rock for so long.  _I’m already hurting Cho and Red John has nothing to do with that._

“Sometimes I think it’s the only solution, “Jane said, “the only way to keep the people I care about safe.”   He watched Cho carefully.  He walked over and put a hand on Cho’s cheek, “But you, you are worth staying for. You are everything to me.” Jane kissed him deeply, once he started, he didn’t want to stop.  Cho was safety, he was reassurance, he was understanding.  “I’m not going anywhere.”

“At least tell me first,” Cho understood Jane so well.

“You’ll be the first to know,” Jane smiled.

“Now will you come back downstairs with us?  Get some tea?” Cho smiled too.

“Tea would be great.”

**Author's Note:**

> More wish fulfillment here - I've said before I don't think it's fair for Jane to carry so much guilt for his family's death. I always wished someone spoke to him about it. Sorry for being repetitive.


End file.
